I'm trying something new and it may take me a while to get it right...
Between my job and my doctoral program, my workload is at a tipping point. I feel like if I add one more project I will be completely paralyzed and not be able get anything done. At the end of the day, I joke to a colleague, "Well, I'm going to put this wedge under the boulder I've been pushing uphill all day and just come back to it tomorrow." I know that if I miss one day, or lose even an hour or two, it might destabilize the pile of work that I imagine is balancing precariously on the very corner of my desk. One wrong move and it will spill to the floor in a heap.
Thank god I'm not dealing with matters of life and death in my work. I mean, I hope that I'm making some kind of impact, but honestly, if I disappeared tomorrow, things would go on (but I think people would be really pissed that I wasn't there to finish what I started).
Anyway, I digress... The problem here is that I have to modify my work style. For too long I have been able to work more-or-less effectively by multi-tasking my way through the day. I constantly have my email open so that I can respond quickly to any messages. I might be chatting online with someone while proofreading a report, or checking the local news while reading scholarship applications. People constantly stop by my office to gossip or chat about our latest crisis. When I am home reading for class or writing a paper, I always have email and Facebook open. This is no longer working for me. The truth is that I have to get rid of some of these distractions and start tuning out unnecessary things out so I that I can focus on what matters.
First, I dumped Twitter. I hardly ever used it anyway, so this was easy to do. My next step will be to close my email and limit myself to checking it only a few times a day - I know this will be very difficult for me. I am addicted to being online and reachable. Facebook is another distraction and it is one of those things that I know I could live without but I would miss hearing what my punk-rock friends in Providence are up to. I know I can't completely abandon it, but at least I can have rules around when I am on.
Keeping these distractions to a minimum is much harder than I ever thought. I have become used to the instant gratification that comes with our digital lives. I need to know now who is sending me email and who is commenting on my post. When did this happen? It makes me wonder whether I have always had a short attention span or if this is a side effect of trying to do too many things in this life.
I know that if I want to be more thoughtful in my work and with my family, I have to find a way to focus on what is really important. I'm trying to see if I can use my online distractions as a "reward" for staying focused for longer periods of time. But really, this is a slippery slope. It's so easy just to spend half an hour or an hour surfing through the latest non-news posted by my closest 300 friends, leaving witty comments here and there. I've tried to narrow down my friend list but it's harder than you'd think. So, here I am back to square one, trying to find a way to focus on what is important while simultaneously justifying my online addiction...
Perhaps I'll give myself a month to try cutting back on the online distractions. If at the end of March I am still just as sidetracked by the virtual world, I may just give it up in favor of live-only interactions. Of course, I'll still have to keep email, you know, for work...
