How do we think about happiness?

"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness." - Bertrand Russell

I posted this quote on my Facebook page the other day because I had seen it over on The Happiness Project and it resonated with me. In truth, I hadn't thought about its meaning that deeply but when a friend called on me to explain what it meant, I felt I had to take on the challenge. It was a work day and I was trying to get a number of things done, but in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about how to interpret this statement.

By the end of the day, this is what I had come up with:

1) When you have everything you want, you have no need to change or grow. When you don't have everything you want, you will strive for more (not necessarily material things) and increase your happiness in the process. 

2) I also think about this as the feeling that you get when you are lying in bed under a blanket and you start to get too warm so you stick your bare foot out from under the covers to find a little cool air. This balance creates happiness (or at least contentment) until you find that your foot is now cold and you have to put it back under the covers. That moment of happiness is most salient when you first move your foot out or back under the covers - that change or transition point is when you most notice that you are happy. After that you go back to wanting something else, which again brings you to that state of contentment.

 I wasn't completely satisfied with my response and I kept thinking about it as the girls and I started our long weekend. My spouse was away so it was just the three of us. We decided to take a trip to the beach on Saturday.

We never actually leave the house as early as I think we are going to and this day was no exception. We had to make a few stops along the way and we didn't find ourselves at the beach until 2:00 in the afternoon. The kids didn't seem to care. They had a blast splashing in the water and playing in the sand. We combed the beach for shells and rocks to take home. We stayed for about three hours before taking a leisurely drive home. As we passed the houses along the shore, my older daughter said, "I wish we could live here. I love it. I would go to the beach every day. It would be so much fun."

I thought about that for a while and she said it a few more times on the drive home. I realized that this was what Bertrand Russell was talking about. I said to her, "I'm so glad you love it when we come to the beach. I do too. I know you think you'd like to live here all the time, but I'm not sure you'd find it as special if you were always here. It's the leaving and coming back to a favorite place that makes us appreciate it so much." And I actually said out loud, "That's what Bertrand Russell meant." To which my daughter replied, "Who?"

Downsizing a Life

I've decided that I don't want to pretend that I'm wonder woman anymore. I wasn't especially good at it and it has had an increasingly adverse impact on my life and my family. I want to do less. Can I do it? I dunno, but I'm going to try.

More (or maybe less) to come on this...