r goal. But, do I want to do it? Do I want to, at 40, go back to school again?The last time I went back to school, I was on the cusp of 30. I got a master's degree then and while it was hell doing school full time, I really enjoyed it. Those were two of the best years of my life. Now, here I am ten years later thinking that what I really need is a doctorate. Is it insanity? Is it a midlife crisis? Is it just the nature of working in higher education?
I deal all the time with people who have PhDs. They aren't ALL eggheads living in an ivory tower. Some of them are actually my friends and they assure me that, yes, I'm definitely smart enough to do it. It's really more about stamina, commitment and persistence. Do I really want to commit so much time and energy to getting another degree? Why would I want to do it?
In the class-driven society in which I work, having a doctorate is definitely an asset. It opens the door to more career possibilities. It certainly makes it easier to deal with faculty if they realize that I've had to write a dissertation too. But, to the outside world, where most of my work is focused, it really makes not one bit of difference.
On the other hand, I love school. I've always loved school. In an earlier post I talked about begging to go to school when I was three. I truly enjoy learning, reading, discussion and writing. After I got my master's I worked at a number of jobs while scheming how I might come back and work at the University, because this is where I feel most comfortable. And, if I came back, I would be able to take classes for fun. But I've been working here for close to five years now and I've never taken a class for fun. Instead, I'm thinking about applying to a formal degree program.
Isn't it enough for me to work full time in the midst of all of this learning, taking a fun class every now and again? I mean, I do work full time plus I have two small children. If I take on one more official responsibility, will I just lose my mind?
To help me decide whether to fill out the application and set this whole process in motion, I took a class this semester in the program where I would be getting this doctorate. Overall, it's been a lot of work and a lot of juggling to figure out how to get everything done. There were weeks when I dreaded it and didn't know how I was going to get all of the assignments finished - not to mention finding time to do all of the reading for the class. On the other hand, I really enjoyed the way it made my brain work. It was exciting to think about this subject matter and to see how it applied to things that were going on in my life and work. It was exciting to see the possibilities of doing more research in this area.
Yesterday was the last class of the semester. I turned in all of my assignments and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I came home and made lists of things that needed to be done because I had neglected them all semester. Last night I slept like the dead. And then this morning, I was right back at it. I started checking the spring schedule to see what class I might want to take next. I couldn't even help myself. Looks like I'll have to take the plunge.
